| 'THE A-TEAM' - review |
| Written by Michael McClelland |
| Saturday, 19 June 2010 19:41 |
 Hollywood’s been enveloped by a formula it seems, where new creations are born from the ashes of pop-culture references. We’ve had ‘G.I. Joe’ and ‘Transformers’ already, and I’m still holding out for a David Hasselhoff re-imagining, but for the time being... we now also have ‘THE A-TEAM’. The tagline sums it up pretty well: “There is no plan B”. It seems to me like Hollywood is out of options too, when they have to resort to a shred of crystallised nostalgia (and really, not a whole lot more than nostalgia) to extract a box office candidate - or more likely, critical cannon fodder. I must admit though, this kind of filmic necrophilia has been going on for years. 2005’s ‘The Dukes of Hazzard’, 2004’s ‘Starsky And Hutch’ - and come on - ‘Garfield’. So, let’s ignore the tired concept here and evaluate the film for what it actually is. The first scene starts off with a sweeping desert shot under white text at the bottom: “Somewhere in Mexico”. Ow! Somewhere in Mexico, like where the writers must be keeping their paychecks. Or their heads.  I’ll skim over the rest of the film for you: Liam Neeson beats up some dogs with a firing pin, Sharlto Copley flies a helicopter upside down, and Quinton Jackson makes a car roll by shooting bullets at it. Do you actually want to know how any of this even works!? It’s pretty evident that storyline plays a secondary role in this movie. As a matter of fact, it’s pretty cut n’ paste; that sense of déjà vu you’ll get isn’t your memory reminding you of the original TV show, it’s every other Hollywood action movie you’ve ever seen coming back to haunt you. And probably your conscience too. Having said all of this, there’s a good reason films like this fare successfully at the box office: they’re fun. The only thing more outrageous than a TV show about the A-Team is a blockbuster film about the A-Team. So don’t go into this one expecting to have your life changed - it’s the kind of movie that you and your buddies go into to have a few cheap laughs for your money. Kind of like selling your soul to the devil, but less re-percussive. And (arguably) less sinister. Do I really need to tell you any of this? It’s The A-Team. It’s The A-Team. It’s The A-Team! B.A. Baracas goes from being shot in the arm at point blank range one minute, to hanging from a helicopter another. If you need a reason to see this film, it’ll probably be: “Why not?” At least it’ll keep you away from drugs or teenage alcoholism. I’ll stop before I make that terrible Mr. T joke to do with fools and pity, but the question that sticks out in my mind is: when can we expect the straight-to-dvd prequel? THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW: 80’s television, that terrible Mr. T catch-phrase... and when to admit that Hollywood has gone too far. HEARTOMETER: 1 2 3 4 5 6 [ out of 10 ] YOU WILL LIKE, IF YOU LIKE: 'G.I. Joe', the 'Transformers' franchise... and wallowing in the past. WATCH: the original opening credits! |
