Hey guys, who likes Christmas Songs? You're right, only people who are wrong in the head do.

I don't want to go all Grinch on it, but Christmas Songs make me want to steal every single present from every single child in my neighbourhood just so their crying drowns out the hideousness that is 'Jingle Bells'. And yes, I do live in a cave on a mountainside overlooking pure happiness. But no, my heart is not abnormally small, it's normal size, but thanks for your concern.

So here are my two ideas for making this holiday season tolerable for our ears...

1: Turn It All Off

How about instead of every single shop playing 'Silent Night', we just have actual silence?

The precious reason for this is that it would enable us to truly communicate with each other, you know, really hear what our nearest and dearest are saying. Isn't it time we just had some quality time together, unfettered by by the constant distraction of songs about Boys who drum and Animals who fly?

But the actual reason for this is that it enables us to hear the true meaning of Christmas: transactions being processed. There's nothing as festive as the constant beat of EFTPOS cards being swiped and receipts being ripped.

I'm just kidding. I do love Christmas and believe it is a time of togetherness and love and all that, not just of pure consumerism. Although I do love getting presents. Almost as much as I love having my family there giving me those presents.

2: Assign A Christmas Meaning To Actual Good Music That You Like

This is my favourite thing to do. Why do we have to have sickly sweet, sugar-shock-inducing old timey classics represent what Christmas is about? Why does the message have to be so blatant that it hits us over the head harder than the time I slammed my face into the wall because I had to listen to Boney M's 'By The Rivers Of Babylon' for the 300th time?

Just keep on listening to the music you enjoy, and arbitrarily pick out parts of it to make meaningful to this time of year.

For example I have been listening to (read thrashing) the Frightened Rabbit song 'Things'.

I just take random lyrics that I can actually understand (that guy is really Scottish) and assign Christmas meaning to them.

So I shed my clothes, I shed my skin down to the bone, and burned the rest.

Obviously this is about putting all of your old clothes into storage (i.e a shed) to make room for the new wardrobe you are about to receive. And then you receive clothes that are two sizes too small, so have to lose weight (shedding skin), and then you take a family nap in the sun after eating lunch (burning while resting).

It's that easy. And as tenuous as that connection may sound, it's a heck of a lot more appropriate to my Christmas than 'Winter Wonderland' (no, in the lane snow is NOT glistening. Tarmac is glistening, because it's melting due to the freaking heat).

This exercise is fun to do, and you can even try it with your family members. You should hear what my Mum thinks of Kanye West's 'Monster' as a Carol to sing by candlelight. (She does a mean Jay-Z impression).

All I am saying is that while Christmas is one of my favourite times of year, it could be better. Namely when it comes to the music that surrounds it. Luckily, a lot of awesome bands feel the same, and attempt to find a common ground between brazenly Christmas and actual good music.

That's when we get things like this:

But also sometimes things like this:

But we still love you Tay-Swift. Merry Christmas!