| Job Hunting For The Possibly Mentally Ill |
| Written by Brendon Green |
| Saturday, 17 October 2009 08:00 |
|
After watching '(500) Days of Summer', I have decided to be Joseph Gordon-Levitt. For life in general, day to day business and the such, I will be Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Currently I am sitting in a bar called The Lizard Lounge, drinking an apple martini and reading the New York Times. Would Joseph Gordon-Levitt do this? I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure Paul Rudd would do this. Oh yeah, I am also going to be Paul Rudd. I may have too many heroes in my life, and it can get a bit schizophrenic, but when your main two personalities are Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Paul Rudd, the schizophrenia is undeniably fun. Unfortunately, my first attempt at being Joseph Gordon-Levitt failed. Today I decided to break into spontaneous dance down the Champs Elysees, figuring that people around me would naturally join in and I would be a celebrated hero, if only for a couple of minutes. They didn’t, and I wasn’t. I did learn however, that while I may have similar hair, I do not possess Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s dancing skills. Oh well, I just made a hilariously snide Paul Rudd-like comment and continued on with my day. My day consisted of the soul-enriching and self esteem boosting search for a job. This basically consists of a tour of all the known English speaking pubs, handing in a CV and a self-congratulatory cover letter. You know the type: “I have customer service experience; while working for Rebel Sport in New Zealand, I was regularly put in charge of high ticket departments such as Golf & Fitness.” I don’t play golf, and I’m not fit, but I used to sell the heck out of treadmills and 5 irons. Unfortunately my real skills of watching TV and pressing buttons (a basic, but startlingly accurate description of my job back in NZ) aren’t in high demand. So I will look for bar work, kitchen hand work, possibly English teaching work and, if in doubt, child care work. There is a demand for English speaking people to look after kids between school finishing and the parents getting home. Sounds like fun, I could teach them awesome New Zealand kids games. Like bull rush. I am choosing to assume Joseph Gordon-Levitt was unemployed between '3rd Rock From The Sun' and whatever he did next ('Mysterious Skin'? Now that’s what you call a career shift). So there is hope for me yet. Hope that I can one day be as badass as high school detective Brendan, or maybe, just maybe I can aim to be as badass as Brian Fantana. Yeah right, in my dreams. Realistically I am definitely more suited to Mike from Friends, or, as I discovered recently, Tom from '(500) Days Of Summer'. I really liked that movie, can you tell? Or maybe I should just invest more time in the job hunt than movie fantasies. |
