| There's never enough... |
| Written by Vaughan Smith |
| Wednesday, 10 June 2009 12:38 |
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I felt it about time to blog regarding the lack, or shortage, of certain resources in this world. Not the obvious shortages, but those little shortages, that can really throw your day out... There are never enough clean teaspoons... I end up dishing up my coffee granules with a dessert spoon and stirring them with aforementioned giant spoon. It makes my cup feel small and it affects my pre-slurp feelings, about the coffee's taste. There’s never enough washing powder when your partner is shitty at you... You think doing all the washing without being told will get you out of the dog box, but if you say “I was going to wash the clothes, but there was no powder”, you’re not getting out of any trouble. There’s never enough warning at the dentist on how long or how numb your mouth is going to be... That ends in dribbling or excessive prodding and biting, resulting in pain when the feeling returns. There’s never enough Ferrero Rochers in the box... Even if you get the biggest box. There’s never enough lemon to squeeze on your fish from your fish & chips... There is however, an excessive amount of salt and grease. But this blog’s not about what there is plenty of. There’s never enough copies of a good movie at the video store on the week they are released... Which leads to downloading, which they reckon is killing movies. On a completely unrelated note, there’s never enough gigabytes in my monthly internet allowance... Nothing at all, to do with the previous statement. There’s never enough toilet paper or hand wash, when you have a mis-wipe because your mind it elsewhere... You get a little bit of poo on your hand, that’s not just me either, don’t you tell fibs and deny you’re part of this. There’s never enough milk... There’s never enough time for Jack Bauer to get everything done... I think he must nap and do wees in the ad breaks. There’s never enough selection of lollies at the movies... There’s never enough of a reason to get out of bed on a cold morning... There’s never enough room in the vacuum cleaner bag when you have to do a big vacuum... No-one likes emptying it and touching all the yucky hair and dust. There’s never enough cat food at our house... That cat is definitely having midnight snacks. I seem to be forever, buying it more food. There’s never enough money left at the end of an overseas trip to get your full duty free allowance... There’s never enough of the good ads on TV... One per ad-break, tops (that Cadbury one with the devil children does not count as good, that counts as evil). There’s never enough tracks on your favourite bands new album... I want 8 discs packed full of the good stuff! But even then, there’s never enough. There’s never enough mail in my mailbox that’s not bank statements, bills or political propaganda... There’s never enough time between Briscoes Sales... They happen every weekend, where’s the thrill of the sale? If I miss this one, I’ll just catch tomorrow’s. There’s never enough seats on the bus when I catch it... It could be half full, but that’s not enough. I want to be two metres away from anyone else, on all sides. There’s never enough batteries around on Christmas morning... So many toys that require them, but a significant lack of the AAAs and AAs. (Does anyone have anything that runs off C batteries or D batteries anymore?) There’s never enough pins on the pinboard, or pegs for the washing line... That’s just an awful twist of domesticated irony. There’s never enough time to fully charge your mobile phone before a big night out... It always runs out, just as you lose all your pals. There’s never enough rashuns... And finally, I asked Twitter; what was there never enough of?... It turns out that there are never enough good ideas from twitter replies, for a blog about things that there are never enough of. |
